reviewofmycat:

Cat: Squid

Owner: RGR

Appearance: C

Squid weighs seventeen pounds, which is of course not a factor in determining her beauty. Still, she has trouble cleaning herself, and she’s pretty greasy. Most new friends describe her as “kind of gross.” She also sheds a lot. She’s got gorgeous eyes, though! After a good combing, I might give her a B.

Sociability: B

Squid used to be the most antisocial cat, but since she no longer cohabitates with other cats, she’s gotten much less anxious. She generally hates men, except for her co-owner. She loves climbing onto peoples’ chests and rubbing her face on your face, especially if you are bearded. She talks a lot and licks even more—something which can be read as a sign of sociability or a nervous tic. She gets an A for improvement, I’d say. (Or an A for effort.)

Usefulness: C

She’s like a luxury item: not useful, but luxurious anyway. Compared to other cats, Squid is not very counterproductive. She doesn’t make too many messes, and would prefer to lay around. Her lazy lifestyle lends itself well to our uses, especially warming. She also tends to take pretty good care of our centipede problem, a sport which she likes because it’s so easy (and thus makes her feel competent). Still, she doesn’t have a job, so she’s not really pulling her weight around here. And she has a lot of weight to pull!

Huggability: A+

She’s giant and squishy and she loves to be on top of you. Sure, she might crush you, but the second you let her onto your chest she starts purring like a chainsaw and snuggles into your body. She’s also generally pretty open to being picked up, as long as you support her weight comfortably. A+ for huggability.

Overall Grade: B